Member Spotlight #39: shesaid.so Parenthood Committee

This month for our Member Spotlight, we are thrilled to shine a light on the shesaid.so Parenthood Committee and the brilliant people who run this integral and supportive community.
The committee was formed to provide an open platform to empower parents in the music industry, through sharing experiences and ideas, thus working towards a more accessible and sustainable music industry for parents. It’s a forum for sharing best practices, resources, dedicated events and panels that aim to help parents in the music industry to thrive in their professional and family life.
And for anyone hoping to speak to like-minded people or be part of the community, we have a new parenthood WhatsApp group launching, which we’d love you to join! Keep an eye out for the official announcement of the group coming up on the 5th of September via our shesaid.so channels.
In the meantime, read on to get to know three of our parenthood committee: Robyn Stewart, Kayleigh Ramchand-Bentley and Cristina Malaspina. We hear how their careers across different sectors of the industry have presented their own challenges for parents, which I’m sure many readers will relate to. And for allies working in a business with parents, we ask what others can do today to better support their colleagues and work towards a more sustainable industry for all.

shesaid.so: Please can you tell us a bit about yourself and your career/life to date?

Robyn: I have been working in the music industry for 20 years, in talent buying, event management, fund development and organization direction. I am currently moving from my role as the Executive Director if the Western Canadian Music Alliance to Executive Director of Women in Music Canada. I am passionate about supporting young talent and seeing their dreams come true, about making connections between folks to see business grow and connecting with like minded partners to build relationships. In a personal level, I am a heart disease survivor, a mother of 2 boys, Jasper (11) and Ty (3) and an avid traveller and knitter.

Kayleigh: My journey in music started 10 years ago as an artist. Whilst trying to navigate the industry as a creator, I took on an entry level role in music rights management - I never thought it would be forever but learning the ins and outs of business became my passion. Since then, I’ve worked with some of the world's biggest artists & songwriters and their teams in a variety of roles, all whilst doing my best to empower underrepresented talent within the industry, through committee work & collaboration with great as organizations like shesaid.so. With a two year old daughter, and another one on the way, life is certainly a different type of hectic than it was 10 years ago, but making time to support accessibility and inclusivity within the industry has become more important to me than ever.

Cristina: I currently lead two parallel careers, in tech and music. At Google I work for the Brand & Reputation marketing team in Milan, driving brand equity and reputation to position Google as a loved brand among Italian users and institutions. As a side job, I am a DJ and producer; I have released music with Crosstown Rebels' Rebellion, Bondage Music and host regular mixes on radios like Ibiza Global, Data Transmission and Sonica. This summer you can find me at Hï Ibiza one Saturday per month, opening for Damian Lazarus and guests in the club room, and a bit all over the world.

shesaid.so: What made you want to join the shesaid.so parenthood committee?

Cristina: I started DJing during my maternity, and since then I have been leading two careers while being a mother. I think that initiatives like the parenthood committee are strongly needed in an industry where there is very little support for parents, women tend to wait to have kids because of lack of job security and support and, especially for DJs, there is a general misconception that being an artist and having kids are two incompatible things. Back in early 2020 I had a chat with Andreea Magdalina about this topic and we convened that setting up a Committee to safeguard the interests of parents would be strongly needed to pave the way for a more inclusive and family-friendly industry.

Robyn: When I joined, I was just off maternity leave with my second child, now 3, and also have an 11 year old. As a mom in the industry almost every decision, be it with traveling, taking leave, staying out late or generally when to have children to begin with. I have learned that family balance needs to be a priority at all times and I want to be a support to other parents or prospective parents who also have careers in music.

Kayleigh: I became a mum two months into lockdown 1.0. It was a time that felt very isolated, especially as not many of my peers (least so those in the industry) had even thought about having children yet. I think the pandemic forced the industry somewhat to recognise family needs as everyone was stuck at home homeschooling and managing life as best they could, but in May 2020 (when we all still thought things would be back to normal by the end of the summer) I really struggled to find a community to lean on, which is when I came across the shesaid.so Parenthood Committee.

shesaid.so: What have you seen as some of the major or common issues for parents in the music industry?

Whether you are a creator or working behind the scenes, lack of flexibility is a huge factor, and barrier for entry into music. In an industry where the line between work and personal life is often blurred, work life balance is something that’s been spoken about a lot in recent years, especially in regards to mental health, but we’re still struggling to see the industry respond in a way that takes into consideration the specific needs of parents and caregivers. As Kayleigh mentioned earlier, the pandemic forced the industry’s hand in a lot of ways to adapt to a more flexible way of working, but coming out the other side there’s still a lot to be done in all sectors of the music business to ensure that parents can maintain a healthy and successful work and home life.

shesaid.so: How do you think the music industry could do better for parents?

Whilst there is now an open discussion about Diversity and Inclusion themes, parenthood is a topic that is currently being left out of the discussion; we need more awareness and acknowledgement that parents do exist. So often we are made to feel like we need to hide that part of our lives for fear that it will be detrimental to our career development, which often means our basic needs are not being met. If we take the live sector as an example, so many parents have to choose between sacrificing their family life or their career once they have children because the sector is very inherently un-child friendly. But this doesn’t have to be the case. Better managed tour schedules, riders that include suitable family accommodation and budgets that cater for childcare are all things that could be the difference between someone giving up a lifelong career and thriving as a parent and working musician.

shesaid.so: Is there something that others who aren't parents can do tomorrow in their job to be a better ally to colleagues or clients who are parents?

There are some really easy things you can do to be an ally:

Just asking about someone’s children is a really easy way of showing a parent that they don’t need to hide such an integral part of their life.
Understanding a parent’s need for flexibility and being mindful of their time - a scheduled meeting over school pick up time is not ideal, and neither is an end-of-the-day call that’s running overschedule when you know you have a grumpy toddler ready for bed!
Tell parents they are doing a good job! Often we feel like we are balancing two lives and struggling to keep hold of both - some words of encouragement could go a long way!

shesaid.so: What are your aims with the parenthood committee and what have been your most recent developments/initiatives?

We want to make the music industry more family friendly. There’s a lot to be done, but the very first step is to establish a platform where music industry parents can be heard and supported. With this in mind, on 5th September we will be launching our shesaid.so Parenthood Whatsapp group: a safe space for parents of all genders in music to connect & share their experiences.

shesaid.so: What can parents get out of the shesaid.so parenthood community?

We are here to provide a supportive and open platform to empower parents in the music industry. We hope with the launch of the Whatsapp group, we can really listen and lean into the needs of the community and have that guide our goals as we develop as a committee.

shesaid.so: What can members look forward to from the committee in the coming months/year?

We’ve been busy this year working with the wider shesaid.so team to finalise our long-term goals for the committee. What stood out most to us was the lack of targeted research and data around parents in music. We want to be a key player in driving this research so we can help more effectively guide the industry in supporting parents and measure the impact of this work.

Mental health & well-being is also a big focus for us. We’ve been working with a number of organisations and potential partners to discuss the ways we can support our community, including funded hotlines, workshops and 1-1 support.

Finally, the live and events sector is another key area for us. We want to work with venues and promoters to create a framework for more family-friendly events & inclusive working terms for parents in the sector, including dedicated family spaces & childcare options.

shesaid.so: Do you have any advice or support links/materials etc. for any parents reading this?

It’s easy to feel isolated and feel like there is nowhere to turn. Don’t be afraid to reach out to people in the same position as you - quite often they’ll be feeling the same and up for a virtual coffee! As parents within the committee we’ve really found a lot of comradery and support in just having these discussions with each other and other organisations working towards similar goals such as PIPA & Pregnant Then Screwed in the UK; Mama Psychologists in Canada; and Parenthood in Music in Germany.

shesaid.so: Your proudest moment/achievement to date?

Robyn: This is very hard to narrow down. I am most proud of the team I have build at BreakOut West. As I leave there I am excited for the family I am leaving behind and the accomplishments in supporting young innovators and creators. Also, I am proud every time someone asks me how I make this all work with two little boys at home. It means I’ve fooled them. Haha. We all “make it work” because its so worth it to raise good humans.

Kayleigh: Professionally, being able to see the impact first-hand of outreach and mentorship initiatives I have been involved with has definitely been the biggest highlight. It’s a privilege to see someone’s career go from strength to strength, knowing that you have played a part in supporting them. On a personal level, my daughter is now two and really into music. I feel proud that my husband (who is also in the industry) and I have been able to pass on our passion to her at such an early age. I’m really excited to see her love of music grow and see where it takes us as a family.

Cristina: Probably receiving a call from Damian Lazarus and getting his invitation to hold a monthly residency at Hi Ibiza, now named the best club in the world. This is something that happened very unexpectedly, as it also was when Damian followed me on my Instagram after two months from submitting my demos to the generic Crosstown email address. More in general, being able to lead this career on top of my full-time job and doing my best to be a good mother and wife makes me proud.

Keep an eye out for the official announcement of the shesaid.so parenthood whatsapp group coming up on the 5th September, via our shesaid.so channels.
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