The shesaid.so Artist Spotlight is a monthly series where we highlight new artists from our global community that you should keep an eye on. If you’re interested in submitting yourself or your artist please contact us at hello@shesaid.so
Photo Credit Dan Gorelick
Rania, aka, PortraitXO, is a singer-songwriter, and visual artist, most known for her hybrid music and installation art. In December 2019, she was awarded the AI Mozart prize at Beats & Bits – the world’s first Artificial Intelligence music competition, and in March 2020 she had an artist residency with Sonar+D x Factory Berlin. This year she releases her debut AI album ‘Wire’ from NFT to vinyl on December 9th after premiering it at SXSW as an official artist. As well as all this, Portrait XO plays an active role in many communities, and is the creative director of SOUND OBSESSED, a hybrid arts community working at the intersection of art, sound, science and emerging technologies. We were lucky enough to have Portrait XO perform at our shesaid.so space (in partnership with ZORA) during Amsterdam Dance Event, and wanted to share some of her insights with you.
shesaid.so: Tell us more about your artist journey and how your sound has developed to where it is today?
My musical journey started from a young age when I learned classical piano and violin from 4-15 years old playing in recitals, orchestras, and conservatories in LA. I decided to stop when my piano instructor wanted to start preparing me for Juilliard and increase classes & practice hours per week. I never felt called to pursue a career as a classical pianist. At around 6 yrs old I fell in love with jazz one day when I was with my mom walking past a restaurant and an old lady was playing jazz piano. My mom never allowed me to learn what I wanted because she was so strict about me learning classical music. Since then, my relationship with music has been complicated. It took me a while to figure my own journey from learning how to write and produce my own music to eventually taking vocal lessons. I consider myself a late bloomer with my artistic journey because I never felt fully satisfied just expressing through music. In school, I excelled at creative writing, drawing, painting, and music. Because I didn’t have any role models to guide me, I tried my best to use my intuition to guide my decisions of what I wanted to do in life. Bjork and Radiohead were such big inspirations for me and they set the bar so high in my head that I wished to one day be able to express myself as fully as they do. I used to do behind the scenes work in the music industry to get a feel for how everything worked from being a session musician to teaching private piano lessons and co-producing and co-writing with other music producers and artists. Now looking back, I was desperate to break free from form all throughout my youth. I got jaded pretty quickly from the pop music industry in LA from the way I was treated back then and never felt connected as deeply to the music I was hearing and writing until I discovered trip hop in the 90’s. I became obsessed with UK music and moved to London from 2006-2015. It was the most expensive decision I ever made but was worth everything because it was such an eye-opener for me and I grew so much more in ways I never would’ve otherwise. Not through school, not through my peers or other influences around me. I grew not just artistically but I learned a lot more about myself and my identity crises I didn’t know I was having while deprogramming how I was socially conditioned that was toxic while perceiving my past from the other side of the world.
PortraitXO
The dissonance and hardship I felt growing up in E. LA from the systemic racism to generational trauma that is so deeply rooted in the entertainment industry became crystal clear after I moved away. It’s not to say that I didn’t like any of the music I heard growing up in LA, I just felt a deeper pull to the UK because I fell in love with electronic music production that moved me so deeply. I became obsessed with hunting for sounds I’ve never heard.
The darker and quirkier the sounds were, I felt parts of me releasing through sound – traumatic parts of my past that were trying to seek catharsis for healing. I never knew music could do that. And it’s such a paradox, how music can be so healing and powerful at the same time, the artistic journey can be so challenging sometimes. Making music and sound is such an intricate journey for me. The more complex my feelings are that I want to articulate, the longer I have to take sometimes to play with sounds until I feel they align with whatever it is I’m trying to express. Whatever I can’t articulate with words or imagery, I turn to sound. Music helps me communicate what can’t be spoken, written, or drawn, but felt only through sound.
I hit a creative depression at some point because I wasn’t happy with anything I was creating while living back in LA between 2015-2018. I was always into looking for new tools and instruments for inspiration to help me break out of ruts. Around 2015, I met CJ Carr (½ of Dadabots) and since then my life has never been the same. He was knee deep in his AI for music research and started talking to me about the future of AI and music. It was so abstract to me at the time, I couldn’t imagine what anything AI generated could sound like. I was in LA from 2015-2018 before I moved to Berlin and for 1 yr I decided to write as much as I could. I wrote over 200 songs in a year and was happy with maybe 5% of it. When CJ and I collaborated during our artist residency at Factory Berlin x Sonar+D from 2019-2020, we decided to use 1 hr of my recorded vocals as the training dataset for our first AI audio experiment. I handpicked recordings of my singing from unreleased music I liked and whatever I had released up to that point. In 2 ½ days, CJ trained this recording of my voice into his custom AI SampleRNN model and generated 10 hours of new audio for me to play with. I had no idea what to expect and allowed myself to surrender completely to these strange outputs that led to discovering a process I fell in love we call ‘neural vocal duet’ – a co-creation of writing lyrics and melodies with my AI ‘other’ voice. This is what gave birth to my AI audiovisual album ‘WIRE’ that is releasing this December. It was originally supposed to release in 2020 but after the pandemic hit, I lost energy and decided to pause everything. I got introduced to Thomas Haferlach who started pollinations.ai and ended up spending most of my lockdowns experimenting with these exciting new open source AI models that helped me create all the visuals I now perform live with, and music videos that will be releasing soon. My obsession with human-machine collaboration that started from being a music gear junkie from instruments to plugins has grown even deeper with the unlimited potential of AI tools opening new forms of expression. While I don’t feel like I need AI to be a better artist or producer, I always love discovering new tools that push my boundaries and enhance the way I craft my work. It’s important that I keep evolving and continue trying new approaches to stay inspired and allow curiosity to lead me to new places I never imagined.
shesaid.so: When did you start connecting visuals to your music?
I’ve always been inspired by visuals in some way. Sometimes while I write music, I write to a scene in my head, or a movie that has a soundtrack or theme I love. And these scenes are based on personal stories of me and people I’ve encountered who left emotional experiences that trigger me to write about them. My artist name is actually derived from finding my creative process similar to a portrait painter. As painters use a canvas, paint, and brush to make a portrait of their subject, it’s the same way I approach songwriting and music making. When I have finished pieces of music, I immediately need to have visuals that match the music to help complete the storytelling. I’m also pretty introverted onstage as I am offstage and fell in and out of love with performing because I never enjoyed having bright spotlights on my face onstage. Since I started performing with visuals, I’ve fallen back in love with performing again. Visuals to me are just as important as the music. And I really need the visuals to enhance the music, if they don’t match I don’t feel satisfied. I want my art and music to be the focus of my performances and give people immersive concerts where they can experience what feels like a journey of many movements.
shesaid.so: Why did you make the decision to move to Berlin, and how have you found living and creating from there?
I have a tendency to fall in love with people’s stories I admire. I love David Bowie’s legacy as a creator who was so immersed in expressing himself in so many ways. I remember falling even more in love with his artistic journey when I went to his exhibition at V&A in London. The way he expressed himself through fashion, acting, and music was so inspiring. His period living in Berlin was really intriguing. I also loved the collaboration he did with Ty Roberts who created the software for Bowie to randomize new words called ‘Verbasizer’. After I moved out of London, I was interested in Berlin and a small handful of my friends who already lived here convinced me to move. It was an easy decision for me because 2015-2018 in LA was my second shot of testing myself to see if I can imagine living there again and I felt more drawn to Europe’s way of living and socializing that make me feel more connected. I also need to be in places that help me feel creatively inspired. I love that in Berlin no one cares who you are or what you’ve done or been in the past. You can find the most avant-garde art experiments to higher end produced work and I love experiencing it all. There’s no paparazzi culture in Europe that influences the way people create their art and music. There’s way less focus on commercial success which I think is a crucial headspace to be in to create authentically. I love the public discourse in Europe about art in general, how much is considered in the process of creating.
AI Self-Portrait
shesaid.so: What do you think are some of the misconceptions people may have about Web3 and creativity?
I think a lot of people feel put off by ‘crypto bros’ and see NFTs and web 3.0 stuff as temporary hype that’s dying out. Also because there’s a type of large scale generative art that happened in the first big wave of NFTs that made people associate NFTs not as ‘real art’ but more as visual symbols to be part of this crypto art movement and communities. There’s still some negative feelings being thrown at people doing any kind of creative work on chain. I mean, it’s all just software that functions differently to ‘web 2.0’ because the fundamental basis of the technology makes everything transparent, shared, and visible. All these tools on chain open a lot of interesting questions which aren't really yes or no to do anything in Web 3.0, but in what context does it make sense to do things on chain that we can’t do in Web 2.0. Like social media I think makes so much sense to be decentralised e.g. LensProtocol. I love what arpeggi.io is doing - a DAW in Web 3.0 which opens an interesting new way to share stems, create, and share music. I get triggered when anyone refers to me as a ‘NFT artist’ or ‘Web 3.0’ artist.
Technology doesn’t define me, I use a lot of different tools for creation from piano, painting, to synths, 3D art, and AI. It’s so weird that we even have this terminology ‘NFT artist’. When we started transacting using paypal to buy and sell goods, if you were doing this with art, we never called ourselves ‘paypal artist’ so it’s weird to me. Like if I was to make music primarily with synths, I’d never call myself a ‘synth artist’. I’m an artist who makes music and art with a lot of different mediums.
As for Web 3.0, I’m enjoying experimenting and exploring what we can do with new tools that are opening up. I love going to hackathons and having conversations with people in cryptography to better understand the limitations and possibilities of new technology. I teamed up with someone new at ETHBerlin recently and won a little award from one of the sponsors - LensProtocol. We’re about to kick off a little game there soon. I love learning about emerging technologies as they happen, it’s inspiring to witness and be involved in early experiments because continuous experimentation is what keeps me inspired to create in new ways. I never want to be pigeonholed or feel boxed into any set ways of creating. I think it’s good to stay curious and keep our brains active.
Portrait XO and Richie Hawtin at the ADE 2022 shesaid.so official space
As part of Refraction Festival DAO, SOUND OBSESSED received some grant funding to build a sonic innovation archive which I’m excited about. We’ve been working with a developer and will be launching the first collection on November 18th using ZORA. This archive will feature innovative works in and for sound featuring sound artists, musicians, scientists, and robotics engineers. I’m really excited about creating a new space that will celebrate these exciting movements at this intersection of art, music, science, and technology. What started as my personal collection of the most inspiring people I’ve met throughout my journey, I’m excited that there will be a home now where I hope will serve to be a way to celebrate the painful and inspiring process of innovation, and also involve more people to be part of the journey to learn about interesting alternative ways to create. I hope this to be the beginning of what will eventually become a book and expand to involve more people I have yet to meet. There will be 2 parts of this sonic innovation archive that celebrates the innovators who build new tools, and the validators who create with these new tools and/or integrate them with other tools/their workflow in interesting ways.
shesaid.so: For musicians interested in collaborating with AI, whether for visuals or sound, are there some tools which you could recommend for them getting started, which are fairly accessible?
Yes, I have 2 published documents on my website https://portraitxo.space/AI-Song-Contest-2021 and https://portraitxo.space/EXPRESS-MINE that feature my workflow, links to tools, and audio examples people are free to download and use however they’d like. I just ask people to share how they integrate any of my material cause I’m always curious if they do get used and how. There’s also Dubler by Vochlea that has a smart AI calibration system that allows your voice to be calibrated to their software allowing you to compose from your voice straight to MIDI real-time that works really well. There’s an amazing new real-time AI audio synthesis plugin for Ableton my friend Moisés Horta Valenzuela created that is releasing soon that’s been really fun. I’m really into creating instruments from my own datasets so if anyone wants to try a similar approach, the 2 links I provided is how I first experimented creating my own instruments without knowing how to code and using google colab notebooks. A few months ago, google released a DDSP-VST that now allows people to create their own instrument and do real-time tone transfer with a plugin: https://magenta.tensorflow.org/ddsp-vst. Examples: https://sites.research.google/tonetransfer. I haven’t played with a lot of the MIDI related AI stuff mainly because I love working with raw audio. I love the glitches and morphing that happens.
shesaid.so: Who are some of the creatives inspiring you at the moment?
Bjork continues to be an inspiration, the level of details that goes into everything she does from what she wears to how she writes and performs. I just love how she builds entire worlds around her music. I also love James Blake, FKA Twigs, Joy Orbison, Max Cooper, Floating Points, and have been listening to Jon Hopkins and Aphex Twin a lot again recently.
shesaid.so: Your work really brings together the worlds of art and technology. Did you always have a brain that was drawn to science and creativity, or has one come more naturally to you?
Photo Credit Factory Berlin
I wasn’t good at all science classes, but somehow I excelled in physiology. When it came to drawing internal and external human anatomy, I always created really detailed drawings and I was able to hold everything I learned because it was all so fascinating. I couldn’t get my head around chemistry because it was just too abstract for me. But the way our human bodies work is so interesting. I think if I didn’t do music, I would’ve pursued physiology or neuroscience. My music artist friend Simonne Jones who happens to have a scientific background phrased it once so elegantly, ‘science is art, and art is science’. I wasn’t always so scientific as a music artist, but the more I became involved and interested in science, the better it helped me create sonically and visually. I’ve found that the better I understand how things work (the science of how everything works), I can break everything down and get really granular. I think I’ve become more detailed with how I work because understanding how scientists work with doubt has helped me approach doubt and my own processes in helpful ways that pull me out of getting into existential crises when I feel a creative block like most artists do. I’m constantly on a search to discover where humanity lies between art and technology. Scientific methods help me with my ongoing research in different fields of interest, art helps me translate new discoveries, and technology helps me create experiences that translate science into art. Music is the glue that binds everything and translates emotions and unexplainable aspects of life. And when you break everything down to its core, everything has a frequency - colors, sounds, flavors, smells, feelings, thoughts, energies, temperature, and even our memories - frequencies beyond sound.
shesaid.so: We’re nearing the end of 2022 which has been a busy year for you! What are you excited about bringing to life next year?
I’m excited about new projects for next year, a lot of new collaborations have been building and forming this year. I’m looking forward to spending this winter creating new work inspired by everything I’ve soaked up from this year. It’s been so intense to go from 0 to 1000 but I’ve loved it all so much. It’s been such an isolating few years for me so connecting with people IRL has brought me back to life. I can’t wait to release new work next year and would like to tour more. New things I want to create keep getting added to my ever growing to do list, but I’m really excited I get to collaborate with some really amazing artists and scientists that will be releasing/launching next year.
shesaid.so: shesaid.so is a community guided by intersectionality. In your opinion, how could the music industry do better in terms of inclusivity?
Mindfulness and staying curious instead of assuming would be a great place to start all conversations. Educating each other about the challenges of being part of the industry and helping each other grow in ways that’s emotionally supportive is something I wish I had when I was figuring things out. I have my own set of traumas from the industry and I stepped away from the music industry for a while to heal and build myself up again. Having open spaces that allow hardships to be expressed and feel heard and supported is a really great thing to have. I hope these types of activations continue to be present at events and festivals to be openly talked about. Having public discourse about really difficult topics is a great way to let people know that they aren’t alone.
shesaid.so: How have communities played a role in your development as an artist?
While I never felt like I was part of any big community, I have a small pool of people that are like family to me. I don’t know where I’d be without them and they are my community. I have ADHD and am constantly working nonstop. Sometimes I don’t know when or how to stop taking on new work, especially if they’re really exciting and fun. Because I take on a lot of work, I don’t have a lot of time to spend with a large amount of people on a regular basis. I divide my time working alone intensely, collaborating with other artists/producers, or on the road at events/festivals. I have a small community of artists, mentors, and friends who are my backbone to get through really difficult times. I try my best to give back to communities in whatever ways I can when I have time for it because I think accessibility to new tools is important, especially to groups of communities that would even know about how to access new tools when they emerge.
shesaid.so: what do you think are the successful ingredients to build a strong community?
Being able to hold space for each other in times of need. Being able to feel seen, heard, and supported. Having shared values. Manifesto and code of conduct that everyone respects e.g. no homophobia, no sexism, etc.
Portrait XO at SXSW 2022
shesaid.so: And finally, could you share a few bullet-point top tips for artists just starting out? What would you have loved to hear?
You don’t need the validation of everyone. Find someone who can be your mentor to guide parts of your journey. Not everyone will look after your best interest so build a strong community even if it’s just a small number of like-minded friends who are also aiming for similar goals and support each other. Create goals not plans because plans will always change and learn how to reward every effort instead of seeking gratification from awards, prizes, fame, and anything that’s out of your control. Filter out opinions because everyone has an opinion. Be selective with who you ask for constructive feedback when you need it, and ask for it from the right people that are relevant to what you feel will help you. Getting constructive feedback is very different to asking a random person if they like your work or not. It’s more valuable to get feedback that’s helpful from someone who is more experienced at what you want to achieve to understand what you can improve/better, and what you’re doing really well in. But even more experienced people are often times changing and evolving. It’s a long journey, so staying focused on processes that keep you excited is crucial.
Journal every part of your journey and celebrate every time you grow and expand and make growth your prime way to feel fulfilled. If you don’t feel like you’re growing, ask why, and get really granular with understanding what you need help with to move forward. Journaling is not only the best form of therapy, but it’ll help keep track of your own progress so you can mentally reward your efforts.
When you do what you love consistently and keep sharing, things do happen over time. But when the time to go happens, I don’t think anything can really prepare you for the extreme propelling movements that can be really overwhelming. So having supportive people and mental work like meditating and journaling can help feel grounded when things feel shaky. The higher the exciting times can lead to feeling really ungrounded after with massive comedowns. Sit in testing times to feel the ground and breathe, stay in the mental state of gratitude for all the challenges and ask what are the lessons from them. Accept that what works for you now will and most likely change; continuously evolving and changing is exciting. And the timeline of when and how things take shape is unpredictable, so learning how to be patient is also vital. When there are moments of frustration because something isn’t working out the way you thought you wanted, surrender your thoughts into writing and let it all go. There are always new opportunities and life does support your dreams, just not the way you ever imagined or expect them to happen.
Check out Portrait XO’s NFT to Vinyl campaign here:
Official promo video for Portrait XO’s NFT to Vinyl campaign
Stay up to date with PortraitXO through her social handles, bandcamp and via the following discord channels:
instagram.com/portraitxo
twitter.com/portraitxo